


Say My Name

by Crushingonsuki



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25426648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crushingonsuki/pseuds/Crushingonsuki
Summary: Just some o’ that good zukka hurt/comfort yknow
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 365





	Say My Name

Sokka has nightmares. He’s had them for awhile now. Sometimes they’re about his mom dying. Sometimes they’re about the fire nation raiding their village and killing everyone. In both of those dreams, Sokka is utterly and completely helpless. He can’t do anything. He can’t save anyone. He finds himself up in the middle of the night frequently, often at the same times as Zuko, who also has nightmares. Zuko’s are about what you would expect. His mother and what his father did to her, reliving the Agni Kai with his father, Azula, and once he joins the gaang, he dreams about Azula killing all of his friends.

One night in particular, he has a nightmare about Azula kidnapping his friends, one by one, and torturing them. Toph is the first to be taken, then Suki. She takes Momo and Appa, making it harder for them to travel. She takes Katara next. This draws Aang to the palace, resulting in his capture. It’s just him and Sokka now. Zuko tries so hard to protect him. He keeps him close, and they run for days. They’re so careful. But she gets him anyway. Zuko gives up and lets Azula capture him. But his torture is worse than death. She forces him to watch as she tortures the only real friends he ever had right in front of him. 

Zuko jolts awake with a small scream. He lies back down and tries to steady his breaths. It takes him too long. He looks up at the stars, waiting. He doesn’t want to admit it, even to himself, but he’s waiting for Sokka to wake up. He always does. Zuko knows it’s selfish to hope that he’ll wake up, but it’s nice to have something else to focus on after a nightmare.

Sure enough, Sokka awakes with a gasp. He’s breathing hard. 

“Are you okay?” Zuko asks.

Sokka turns his head to look at him, still panting. He hesitates before responding, “Y-Yeah, yeah.”

There’s a silence before Sokka asks, “Was it bad tonight?”

Zuko stares at the ground and nods. Sokka sits all the way up and turns to face him.

“Do you wanna tell me about it?”

Zuko is quiet for a second.

“It’s so much worse now,” Zuko tells Sokka.

“How come?”

“I—I didn’t care about much before I got here. I really only cared about Uncle, Mai, my mother… and that’s about it.”

“—And capturing the Avatar,” Sokka teases.

Zuko scoffs. “And capturing the Avatar. But now, I—” He shakes his head and sighs. “...there’s more things that my dreams can take away from me.”

Sokka just looks at him for a second before reluctantly asking, “How bad was it?”

Zuko doesn’t respond. He doesn’t want to spend any more time thinking about that awful dream. Instead, he asks, “Hey, why don’t you ever tell me about your nightmares?”

Sokka feels heat rise to his cheeks, just a little. Zuko’s eyes are fixed on Sokka’s and the eye contact is making him uncomfortable.“Oh, well, I, uh— I didn’t think you— you would want to listen.”

“Of course I would want to listen,” Zuko tells him, getting a little defensive. He realizes the edge in his voice and corrects himself. “Sorry. I mean— you— always listen to me, it’s only fair.”

Sokka looks at him with an eyebrow raised. “Is this you trying to say you care about me?”

Zuko sighs and puts his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, I’m—I’m not good at this. I— I’m _trying,_ I’m trying really hard here, Sokka, but I— I’m sorry. I’m not like you guys; you guys speak your mind so easily. But it’s—it’s hard for me.”

Sokka puts a hand on Zuko’s knee. “Stop apologizing.”

Zuko looks up at him again. “ _I’m_ sorry,” Sokka apologizes. “I— just, no one’s really ever asked me… If I wanted to talk about it.”

“Not even Katara?”

Sokka glances up at Zuko. His piercing gold eyes seem to see right through him. 

“No. It’s not a big deal, really, I just… I’ve never really talked about it.”

“Are they about your mom?”

Sokka avoids Zuko’s eyes. “Yeah.”

Sokka’s not sure he’d seen Zuko look genuinely concerned before, but he sees it clear as day on his face now. He can practically hear the gears turning in Zuko’s brain as he tries to find the words he needs.

“Sokka, you need to stop doing that,” Zuko says in an uncharacteristically gentle voice.

Saying someone’s name is so powerfully intimate. Sokka doesn’t fully understand this, but he feels it nonetheless—his cheeks have flushed a vibrant rose red.

“What?”

Zuko’s hard exterior has fully melted away. He’s completely vulnerable, and Sokka knows it. He’ll appreciate it later, but right now he’s too busy focusing all his energy on paying attention to Zuko. “Trust me; I’ve done it too many times,” he tells Sokka. “Bottling up your emotions only makes them hurt more than they have to; because when you finally decide to open up, they come rushing forward faster and stronger than they were in the beginning, like water from a dam that’s been cracking and finally breaks. And it _sucks_. You sob so hard your chest hurts and you can’t stop no matter how hard you try.” He looks up at the pair of blue eyes staring back at him. “But you need to get it over with, or it’ll just get worse. So tell me everything.”

Sokka chokes back a sob he didn’t know was in his throat to say, “Since when are you so nice?”

Zuko lets out a weak chuckle. 

“Talk to me, Sokka,” he murmurs so softly it’s almost a whisper. There it is again— he keeps saying Sokka’s name and each time he does Sokka melts a little. Zuko’s clearly still uncomfortable with physical touch, but he wants Sokka to feel safe. He puts his hand on Sokka’s, which is still on his knee. He remembers Uncle, who made him feel safe even though he was so awful to him. It hurts to think about. He pushes the thought away.

“I was ten when my mom died. And I didn’t have time to grieve. I was ten; I was a _kid_ and I couldn’t even grieve the loss of my own mother because I had to be there for my sister. When dad left, I had to take care of her. And I was so busy helping her with her grief that I didn’t have time to address my own. So I pushed it down. When she finally started to get better, my nightmares started. But there was no way in _hell_ I was going to ruin her first chance in a long time to be happy. Don’t get me wrong; Katara cared for me too. I love her for that. But I was the man of my household now. I had to be okay. I had to be strong. For her and for my village. I wanted to make my dad proud.”

Those words made Zuko shudder. “I know what you mean,” he said. Sokka smiles sadly.

“Yeah—“ Sokka tries to continue, but he chokes on a sob. “I—“

“Sokka.” He says his name again, his voice even softer this time. “You’re holding back.”

Sokka meets his eyes. He never noticed how warm the gold is before.

“You need to let go. Let it all out.”

Sokka squeezes Zuko’s hand and lets the sob escape his throat. There is no turning back now. Tears stream down his cheeks as he finally allows himself to feel the grief he has been holding back for years. 

“I was _ten!”_ Sokka cries, his voice hoarse. “I was ten and I felt _responsible._ I felt responsible for Katara, my _sister,_ at _ten!_ I told myself I wasn’t allowed to feel things to be strong for her, and it _hurts so bad now._ And even worse, I felt responsible for my mom’s death! I told myself _over and over_ that I could have done something, that she didn’t have to die, that if I just could’ve—“ Sokka cuts himself off with an involuntary noise that sounds like a hurt dog. 

Zuko is about as uncomfortable as he’s ever been in his life, but he doesn’t care. He knows how bad it would get if Sokka didn’t do this. He needs this, and he can’t be alone to do it. So for maybe the first time in his life, Zuko puts his own feelings aside for a second to care for his friend. He squeezes his hand back, telling him “I’m here” without words. Sokka only cries harder when Zuko rubs the side of his hand with his thumb, but it ultimately helps him calm down and steady his breathing. When he’s calmed down enough to speak, Sokka envelopes Zuko in a hug and whispers, “Thank you.” 

A shiver snakes up Zuko’s spine. His body stiffens. Before he can stop himself, his breaths become frantic, short and fast. He’s hyperventilating. 

_Not again._

Sokka feels the change and looks at him. 

“Zuko?”

No reply. 

Sokka pulls away from him.

“Zuko? Dude, are you okay? Zuko?”

Zuko shakes his head. “I—“ 

“Hey, it’s okay, don’t talk. Deep breaths, man, it’s okay.” Sokka has his hand on Zuko’s shoulder.

Zuko steadies his breathing and Sokka says, “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t know you would react like that. If I’d known—“

“No,” Zuko says clearly. “It’s not—don’t apologize. I— I’m just—“ He sighs shakily. “I’m not used to… not being hated.”

Sokka’s brow furrows. 

Zuko scoffs at his own comment. “Sorry, that sounds dramatic. I meant, like, I—“ he sighs. “My friends never hugged me. Especially considering that I’ve never had friends.”

Sokka’s concern intensifies.

“Come to think of it, the only people who have ever hugged me are my mother and Uncle.”

Zuko’s expression is blank, but there is sorrow behind his damp eyes. 

“Spirits, Zuko,” is all Sokka can say. 

Heat rises to Zuko’s cheeks when Sokka says his name.

“You deserve so much fucking better.”

He looks back up at Sokka. An indescribable feeling pulses through his body.

“I’m telling you, you deserve a better family than this shitty ‘my father doesn’t give a shit about me and my little sister fucking hates me.’ You need friends. REAL friends, not your sister’s fuckin posse. We’re your friends, Zuko. We don’t hate you. I promise. I didn’t think it was possible, but you’re growing on me, man. I don’t know about the others, but I can tell that I’m starting to love you.”

Zuko’s shaking his head. “No,” he says simply. “How could you? I’ve done literally everything wrong; there’s no way. I’m a _shitty person,_ Sokka.”

“No. You’re not. Zuko, please, believe me.” Sokka said his name again. “You deserve to be _happy._ You deserve to have friends that _fucking hug you._ Friends that love you.”

Zuko’s eyes meet his. They say “ _I don’t.”_

“ _You do,”_ Sokka tells him. “Listen. I’m _here_ for you, Zuko.” He said it again. “If you _ever_ need something. If you need to talk, if you need a hug— Come to me and I will do it no questions asked. Just ask me. Actually, no! Don’t even ask me! Literally just climb on me like a koala if you want a hug! I will not say anything!”

Zuko would be laughing if he wasn’t trying to hold back tears. He manages a small smile, his cheeks fiery red.

“I’m serious,” Sokka assures him. 

Zuko looks down. “Thank you,” he whispers, his voice cracking. 

Sokka smiles at him. “Come here, Zuko.”

Zuko looks up at him and he can’t help thinking about the way Sokka says his name. It’s so… _soft._ He didn’t think anyone could make his name sound soft. He never believed someone could say his name with such care. 

Sokka holds his arms out and for the first time, Zuko hugs his friend. He’s trying to hold the tears in. He’s trying so hard. But Sokka’s holding him so _tightly_ but so _gently_ and he _can’t—_

“Zuko.”

_Spirits, I love the way he says my name,_ Zuko thinks again. 

“You’re holding back,” Sokka tells him. “Let go. Let it all out.”

He feels Zuko’s chest heave against his own as he lets out his tears like he should have done so long ago. Zuko has never felt so warm. So safe. So _held._ When the tears stop, he closes his eyes and buries his face in Sokka’s neck. Zuko doesn’t realize he’s drifting off until he’s asleep. Sokka realizes he’s fallen asleep and carefully sets him back down on his sleeping bag. Zuko stirs and Sokka notices he sounds panicked. He turns toward him and lays down on his own sleeping bag. He puts an arm around him and says, “Hey, it’s okay. I’m here.”

Zuko sighs softly and puts his hand on top of Sokka’s. Sokka feels his face getting hot. Zuko turns his body to face Sokka. _Is he asleep???_ Sokka wonders. His cheeks are blazing. And to top that, Zuko puts his arm over Sokka and pulls him closer to him. Sokka’s eyes widen. His first reaction is embarrassment, but as Zuko’s head droops and their forehead touch, Sokka realizes _...hey, this isn’t so bad._ He closes his eyes and tries to go to sleep, but he can’t stop thinking about how warm Zuko’s forehead feels against his and how nice it feels to have Zuko’s arm around him. 

He realizes.

_Oh FUCK._

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo I’m probably gonna add another chapter soon, stay tuned :)  
> I’m @lavender-honey-babe on tumblr if u wanna ask me anything or follow me! My blog is like 99% atla and I do art!


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